I find myself alone, eating breakfast. I am not one to usually have a croissant for breakfast but this morning was an exception. In the back of my head I know that I should be finishing it up and getting ready to go because “you are what you eat” is true in more ways than we think. But here’s the thing: people are watching me finish this croissant. And they’re judging me! I feel like I am in a silent conversation with myself where one voice says “don’t eat the last bite. You are what you eat” and another voice is saying, “but it’s just one croissant!”
The first voice has been proven to be true time and time again. Self-talk can have an effect on our moods and how we experience life but this morning was different. This time my self talk didn’t focus on my idea of healthy eating or whether I would regret eating that last bite later; instead, for once…it focused on me being alone! And I’ve gotta say: It felt really good :) The other voices faded away more quickly as they saw that there wasn’t anything wrong with me eating this croissant. I was alone, yes, but it didn’t make me feel lonely or judged because of the company I had with myself! I realized that there are so many times in our lives when we are going to be faced with a crossroads like this: Eating well is important and always will be but sometimes you have to say “screw it” and enjoy yourself for who you are and not what society expects from us.
At least now when someone asks why I’m eating breakfast solo (which has happened before), my answer won’t just sound like an excuse ;)
Are you gonna finish that croissant? sigh Fine…one more bite then my stomach can rest easily :)
cries a little internally because it’s so good I’m eating breakfast solo! *pouts and sulks in the corner of my office like nobody cares about me anymore, but then remembers that not only am I surrounded by computers and screens which are really just people on other end who don’t care what croissant you eat as long as they get their work done*, I also have these delicious croissants to keep me company. So there’s that… :)
You know when someone asks why you’re eating alone? And sometimes it feels like an excuse or a defense mechanism? Well last week, for the first time since college actually (can you believe it?) this was literally all I had in my fridge. So I ate it and talked to myself in a positive self-talk way, reminding myself that even though there are probably easier things to eat right now (chips or cereal) this is good for me. What’s the worst thing going to happen if you finish all of these croissants? You’ll be hungry later on but also satisfied because they’re very delicious.*
If you find yourself alone with some croissant leftovers, here are few phrases try out:
“You know when someone asks why you’re eating alone? And sometimes it feels like an excuse or a defense mechanism?” “Well last week was literally all I had in my fridge.” *and then talk about what happened afterwards*, “So I ate it and talked to myself in a positive self-talk way, reminding myself that even though there are probably easier things to eat right now (chips or cereal) this is good for me.”*
- I find the most helpful thing not just with self-talk but with anything in life is to just keep going.
- “What are you gonna do when the world tells you that all your work won’t matter?”
- I say, “Yes it will.” As soon as I start typing this sentence.
- “How are you going to feel when something doesn’t go according to plan?”
- I say, “It’ll be alright,” as soon as I start typing this sentence.
A lot of people have told me that they felt like the words had a calming effect on them. It’s so interesting how our minds work! Sometimes just saying these phrases aloud can help us believe more in ourselves. And it also feels good (physically) because we’re talking out loud and getting those vocal cords exercised. So try it for yourself: next time find yourself alone eating breakfast*, repeat some positive self-talk phrases to yourself and see what happens!
once again, do not write numbers or bullet points
- You can do it
- You are strong
- I have faith in you!
- I love myself.
“This will be a good day.” “It’ll all work out for the best.” “Everything will turn out just fine!”
You’re beautiful, and your self-worth is enough. The world needs more of that right now—more people who can see themselves clearly and know their worth because they’ve been told again and again by family, friends, teachers, partners: that we matter; that our lives are important. It’s so easy to get caught up in what other people think about us or how others perceive us but if we don’t believe in ourselves first then no one else ever will either